Thank You November, Next: Toxic Relationship Songs

It’s possible that November has brought in many wonderful things. But, for some, it’s been a hell of a ride, and can’t wait to wrap up this month. This is for you.

Can toxic relationship songs help me get through? Whether it’s aromantic, familial, friendly, or professional toxicity that’s draining every inch of your body, it’s most likely damaging you and/or another person.

Toxic Relationship Songs by NubeCafé

A NubeCafé playlist is here one more week to support you the best way we know how: through music. This isn’t a misery-loves-company approach to cure your aches, not at all.

Our aim is that you put yourself in the artist’s shoes – better said, vocals – to learn how to get through the emotional and psychological damage caused by toxic relationships. Or, why not, if you’re lucky you might be able to recognize the red flags and avoid it altogether.

“I Wanna Be Yours” by Arctic Monkeys

The Arctic Monkeys featured this track on their fifth studio album, AM (2013). This more tender side of the band is actually inspired by a poem (with the same name) by John Cooper Clarke. This rendition of “I Wanna Be Yours” has a slower tempo and a dreamy, almost hypnotic quality to it. Yes, hypnotic.

The lyrics express more than yearning:

If you like your coffee hot

Let me be your coffee pot

You call the shots, babe

I just wanna be yours

Don’t be confused, this is not romantic. This is the first red flag.

“i hate u, i love u” by gnash (feat. olivia o’brien)

This song by gnash featuring Olivia O’Brien explores the conflicting emotions when you love, hate, or can’t live with or without someone.

The lyrics masterfully alternate between his and her perspective; he expresses the pain of missing her:

And now all this time

Is passing by

But I still can’t seem to tell you why

It hurts me every time I see you

Realize how much I need you

To which she replies:

I hate you, I love you

I hate that I love you

Don’t want to, but I can’t put

Nobody else above you

Finding yourself loving and hating a person on the same level is the second red flag.

“idfc” by blackbear

blackbear, an American singer, songwriter, and record producer cannot be more explicit, he doesn’t f***ing care. On love themes, we could say that the lyrics reflect a need or desire to let go:

You’ve been out all night

I don’t know where you’ve been

You’re slurring all your words

Not making any sense

But I don’t fucking care, at all

Whether the message is truly meant – which would be an unwanted level of apathy in any relationship – or pretense to get a reaction from the other person, it’s just plain unhealthy.

If you find yourself doing any of these… say it with me: red flag.

“Teddy Bear” by Melanie Martinez

Melanie Martinez featured this haunting track in her studio album, Cry Baby (2015). We get a different viewpoint on toxicity, possibly the very cause of all toxic relationships: emotional dependency.

Through the lyrics, you can find all the stages someone goes through before, during, and after this toxicity: vulnerability, insecurity, comfort, and reassurance. Just like a child seeks solace and protection from a teddy bear, we try to find refuge in someone else:

Teddy bear, you were my teddy bear

You were comforting and quiet

How did love become so violent?

(Oh) Teddy bear, you were my teddy bear

Everything was so sweet until you tried to kill me

The song’s haunting tone combined with an eerie atmosphere has a clear purpose, to scare you away from anything that might ressemble feeling both safe and unsafe with the same person. RED FLAG.

“Toxic” by Kehlani

Nope, not the “Toxic” we’re used to listening to. This track was actually released by Kehlani in her album It Was Good Until It Wasn’t (2020). Amen.

A toxic relationship song that truly expresses destruction and addiction to the calming beat of R&B and this soulful artist:

All of this love is toxic

All of this love is toxic

All these kisses and hugs is knock shit

You a damn drug, you’re toxic

This is the last track of this post because if you reach the point of verbalizing the word and admit it, you’re on your way to recovery.