It’s possible that November has brought in many wonderful things. But, for some, it’s been a hell of a ride, and can’t wait to wrap up this month. This is for you.
Can toxic relationship songs help me get through? Whether it’s aromantic, familial, friendly, or professional toxicity that’s draining every inch of your body, it’s most likely damaging you and/or another person.
Toxic Relationship Songs by NubeCafé
A NubeCafé playlist is here one more week to support you the best way we know how: through music. This isn’t a misery-loves-company approach to cure your aches, not at all.
Our aim is that you put yourself in the artist’s shoes – better said, vocals – to learn how to get through the emotional and psychological damage caused by toxic relationships. Or, why not, if you’re lucky you might be able to recognize the red flags and avoid it altogether.
“I Wanna Be Yours” by Arctic Monkeys
The Arctic Monkeys featured this track on their fifth studio album, AM (2013). This more tender side of the band is actually inspired by a poem (with the same name) by John Cooper Clarke. This rendition of “I Wanna Be Yours” has a slower tempo and a dreamy, almost hypnotic quality to it. Yes, hypnotic.
The lyrics express more than yearning:
If you like your coffee hot
Let me be your coffee pot
You call the shots, babe
I just wanna be yours
Don’t be confused, this is not romantic. This is the first red flag.
“i hate u, i love u” by gnash (feat. olivia o’brien)
The lyrics masterfully alternate between his and her perspective; he expresses the pain of missing her:
And now all this time
Is passing by
But I still can’t seem to tell you why
It hurts me every time I see you
Realize how much I need you
To which she replies:
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don’t want to, but I can’t put
Nobody else above you
Finding yourself loving and hating a person on the same level is the second red flag.
“idfc” by blackbear
blackbear, an American singer, songwriter, and record producer cannot be more explicit, he doesn’t f***ing care. On love themes, we could say that the lyrics reflect a need or desire to let go:
You’ve been out all night
I don’t know where you’ve been
You’re slurring all your words
Not making any sense
But I don’t fucking care, at all
Whether the message is truly meant – which would be an unwanted level of apathy in any relationship – or pretense to get a reaction from the other person, it’s just plain unhealthy.
If you find yourself doing any of these… say it with me: red flag.
“Teddy Bear” by Melanie Martinez
Through the lyrics, you can find all the stages someone goes through before, during, and after this toxicity: vulnerability, insecurity, comfort, and reassurance. Just like a child seeks solace and protection from a teddy bear, we try to find refuge in someone else:
Teddy bear, you were my teddy bear
You were comforting and quiet
How did love become so violent?
(Oh) Teddy bear, you were my teddy bear
Everything was so sweet until you tried to kill me
The song’s haunting tone combined with an eerie atmosphere has a clear purpose, to scare you away from anything that might ressemble feeling both safe and unsafe with the same person. RED FLAG.
“Toxic” by Kehlani
A toxic relationship song that truly expresses destruction and addiction to the calming beat of R&B and this soulful artist:
All of this love is toxic
All of this love is toxic
All these kisses and hugs is knock shit
You a damn drug, you’re toxic
This is the last track of this post because if you reach the point of verbalizing the word and admit it, you’re on your way to recovery.