We know. It’s Friday and you’re about to read a blog on how to get over a breakup. Very sad. But that’s precisely why we’re here on a Friday. If you are in fact trying to get over a breakup fast before you go out tomorrow or tonight, we’re sorry to say that the process might be a little longer. So, how long does it take to get over a breakup?
Like any other form of grief, you’ll inevitably have to go through these 5 stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Let’s say you’re trying to figure out how to get over a breakup you caused. No worries, we’ve thought about every possible scenario and curated this playlist so you don’t have to go through it alone.
The Indiemono Playlist: Breakup Songs for Every Stage
Have you ever wondered why there are so many breakup songs? Even if our thoughts go straight to the queen of breakup songs, Ms. Swift, thousands of artists have proven music to be one of the most effective band-aids for heartache.
We’ve selected the song that we believe best describes each breakup stage. Then again, what’s great about music is that it speaks the language of everyone so you have a full list of breakup songs to realize how to get over that someone. Trust music, you will.
BREAKUP STAGE 1: DENIAL or “Traitor” by Olivia Rodrigo
This stage is the worst. Denial is filled with open wounds and pointless questions: “Why do breakups hurt so bad?”, “What did I do wrong?”, etc. Why not just skip it? We need it to continue to idealize the person that broke us. We know that the relationship is over, we’re just not ready to believe it yet.
“And I know if you were true
There’s no damn way that you
Could fall in love with somebody that quickly”
Don’t be fooled by the name of the song. Although it might seem like Olivia has jumped onto the Anger, deep down she still thinks she knows the person that betrayed her. And that’s pure denial.
BREAKUP STAGE 2: ANGER or “You’re Not Sorry (Taylor’s Version)” by Taylor Swift
Luckily you reach this stage without sending that late-night text you were going to regret (it usually happens in “denial”. It just does). The great thing about this stage is that “anger” has the strength to remove that blindfold:
“And it’s taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you’re thinking we’ll be fine again
But not this time around”
Although many listeners have shown their disapproval towards women -yes, especially women- that are outspoken about their anger towards their ex, we are loving this new social era in which women don’t have to swallow up their emotions. None of us should be sorry for that.
BREAKUP STAGE 3: BARGAINING or “Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi
Watch out for this one. This stage can sometimes be felt in parallel to “denial” because you’ll try to negotiate your way back. Lewis Capaldi expresses his side of the bargaining in “Before You Go”:
“So, before you go
Was there something I could’ve said
To make your heart beat better?”
Whether you cause the breakup or not, remember why it happened. And no, we are not actually responsible for how someone else’s heart beats. And that goes both ways.
BREAKUP STAGE 4: DEPRESSION or “WYD Now?” by Sadie Jean
This is one of the most debilitating and long-lasting stages in this whole breakup process. At this point, Doritos have become entangled in our hair and we drink alcohol as if it were hope. We firmly believe that nothing will ever be the same again or we won’t find that someone ever again. That’s why we catch ourselves asking the typical “WYD Now?” like Sadie Jean:
“And I’ve been lookin’ for love online
And maybe some of them are real good guys
They’re never gonna be like you though”
It’s only in the next stage that you’ll repeat the words “They’re never gonna be like you though” with a completely new tone and maybe followed by a “Thank f***”. But for now, let yourself sink into the sofa as far as possible so you can chew on that last Dorito. Then, remove that ass print from your sofa and let it get back to its original shape. There is no doubt that it will soon be sat on by someone who is a far better fit. Trust music.
BREAKUP STAGE 5: ACCEPTANCE or “It’ll Be Okay” by Shawn Mendes
Finally, you made it. You’ve made peace with losing the person you knew, you’re letting go of that relationship, and you can feel yourself moving on as the person you deserve to be. Don’t be fooled, this path is not easy either but at least you can start to mouth “It’ll Be Okay” like Shawn Mendes and really believe it:
“I start to imagine a world where we don’t collide
And it’s making me sick, but we’ll heal and the sun will rise”
If you’re far from believing that you’ll heal or that the sun will rise, you may have to listen to a few more breakup songs from earlier stages. Know that we all go through our own journey and the “how” of getting over someone will vary from one person to another, or from one situation to another within that same person.
What is independent from the type of person, relationship, and age, is that music truly is the best listener. Trust it.